Mark Duffy has written the Copyranter blog for 11 years and is a freelancing copywriter with 25-plus years of experience. His hockey wrist shot is better than yours.
The Great American Tagline is dead — has been for years. The few remaining good American taglines are being hunted down and killed by digital agencies and marketers daily. Even the American Tagline That At Least Makes A Modicum Of Sense is dying.
Do you know what is still selling more shoes for Nike, right now, today, day-in and day-out, than ALL of its current ad and promo campaigns combined? “Just Do It.” Same thing with “Don’t Leave Home Without It” and American Express. That’s the power of a great tagline. Here are five of the worst:
Stella Artois: Be Legacy
Copywriters have long twisted, choked, and murdered the most basic grammar rules in attempts to make a brand edgier and stand out from competitors. But why is Stella demanding you, you slob, to “Be Legacy”? That’s a tall order for anybody, beer drinker or not.
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Why not just: “Be Remembered” or “Be Better” or “Be Drunk”? “Be Drunk” is a damn good beer tag. Earlier this year, Twitter folks had a few other suggestions: “Be Legless,” “Be er” (heh), and “Be at wife” (backstory here on that last one).
Cîroc: LET’S GET IT
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Get WHAT? Some Cîroc? Some tail? The commercial does not help with the comprehension. Let’s Get Shitfaced? Let’s Get The Puke Stains Cleaned Off My Rental Tux? How about: Let’s Get Diddy in a roundtable discussion about his tagline.
Cadillac: DARE GREATLY
A Cadillac is a car, correct? Yes? An American fighting with Kurds against ISIS? He’s daring greatly. Trying to stop 100 mph vulcanized rubber projectiles while wearing the skimpiest of face masks? Hockey goalies dare greatly.
Buying a Ford Pinto in the 1970s? OK, fine, that was daring. But being able to afford and then actually buying a $100,000 car in 2016? That’s not just ZERO daring, it’s negative daring.
Coors Light: The World’s Most Refreshing Beer
How did they get this bullshit wiggle language approved by the FDA? Are they the “tastiest” beer in the world? No. Are they the … most “thirst quenching” beer in the world? No. What does refreshing mean here? That it has the most water of any beer in the world? I bet that’s how they got it approved.
WELLS FARGO: Together We’ll Go Far
This is a late-breaking entry:
Yeah, to jail! Giddy up!
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