30 Signs You’ve Been in Ad Sales Too Long

1. People at steakhouses know you by name.

2. You have a closet full of custom Nikes from sneaker parties.

3. You need six drinks before you’re even buzzed.

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4. Your internal clock is set to beginning and end of each quarter. 

5. You’re on a first-name basis with every agency receptionist.

6. You’ve introduced yourself in real life using your SellerCrowd pseudonym.

7. You have mad beer pong skills.

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8. You’ve joined the Spirit Air frequent flier program for Detroit day trips.

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9. You’re called “sir” by the junior planners.

10. You invite five people at an agency for custom jeans, but you’re told they’re bringing 10 because they can.

11. You’ve been Apple picking.

12. You’re OK with agencies not saying “thank you” for the lavish holiday gifts you sent.

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13. You spend a lot of time trying to get the attention of 25-year-olds.

14. You were once asked to leave a 212 party.

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15. You find it perfectly normal to spend six weeks to set up a meeting at an agency only to have it cancel an hour beforehand because it’s “super busy.”

16. You instinctively stay two drinks behind your social companion.

17. Your exercise is mostly at Soulcycle with media buyers.

18. You think it’s totally normal to cater lunch for 20 24-year-olds who don’t really care about you.

19. You think it’s normal for 15 agency people to listen to you talk without saying a word.

20. You are not surprised that billion-dollar corporations allow 24-year-olds to determine where to spend $3 million in advertising based on how cool their custom sneakers are.

21. You get irrationally excited when you receive an RFP.

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22. You think clicking on your clients’ ads when you see them will actually do some good.

23. You really begin to believe that you have low testosterone.

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24. You’re unfazed by a $200 bill for a lunch for four.

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25. You have installed a punching bag at work to help with anger management issues.

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26. You wait to hear back from a 23-year-old media planner who can barely put a coherent email together — and then you thank her for ignoring you for 90 days.

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27. You’re sick of eating at nice restaurants.

28. You’ve become a regular at every mani/pedi salon in New York City.

29. You start believing, “I’m away from my desk, but your message is very important to me.”

30. You’re used to giving out gift cards in exchange for attention from people your daughter’s age.